Repairing The Doctor-Patient Relationship
The goal of any doctor-patient relationship should be one of mutual respect and collaboration, working together to achieve your best possible medical outcome. Most of the time that is exactly what happens. But sometimes the relationship goes awry, and that may require either repairing the patient-doctor relationship or switching to a new doctor.
Sometimes the problems are the doctor's fault. From the first meeting, s/he may have been abrupt, or condescending or simply have a horrible bedside manner. If that's the case, there is nothing to be repaired. It's just the doctor's personality. You can choose to stay in the relationship depending on your tolerance.
If you have previously enjoyed a good relationship with your doctor, but at some point get the sense that something about the relationship has changed for the worse, you need to step back and reflect on what might have caused the change. Is it your imagination? Is it something you did or said? Or something you neglected to do or say? Is it the doctor's fault? If you really like the doctor and feel that you want to continue the doctor-patient relationship, you must repair it. How does one do that?
Being up front and honest is always a good way to begin. Ask the doctor if you have done or said anything that has offended him or any one else in the office. If s/he answers in the affirmative, be sure to apologize for what you did or said. Follow up that verbal apology with a hand-written note of apology to the person or persons you have offended. Perhaps you can afford to hand deliver or send a plant or box of treats to the staff.
You always get more in life with "sugar" than you do with "salt ". Be aware that in order to have good interpersonal relationships with people it is not always what you say, but how you say it. If you put people on the defensive because of your behavior or your attitude, you will not experience a positive outcome. Everyone has feelings. The doctor and his staff are no exception.
If the doctor says that all is well, but you still have a sense that things have changed, ask the tough questions. If you are uncomfortable asking the questions, start off by being open and honest. The key is to be calm, warm, non-defensive and caring when you ask these questions. You've always liked the doctor. You want to continue the relationship. You need the doctor and the doctor needs you to maintain his professional practice.
"I sense that all is not well between us." "While I find this very uncomfortable, I need to ask you if there is something I have done to make you not want to treat me anymore?" "Is there a reason why our relationship has changed?" "Would you rather me switch doctors and if so, why? "
The bottom line is that you want to be able to count on your doctor to be passionate about your life or the life of your loved one. If you feel this is not the case, it is time to switch doctors.
